CONTENTS / QUICK FIND:
UNDER CONSTRUCTION NOTICE:
CHRISTMAS HUMOR: "AN X-FILE CHRISTMAS DIALOG"
Forwarded by VHFr Manawydden, h.c. (Dick Sells)
[Editor's. Note: This "tale" was sent to us by VHFr. Manawydden, h.c. aka Dick Sells of Chattanooga, TN from a version that he had received off of the Internet. On behalf of all of us here at The Crux Mystica and The Order of The Astral Star, regardless of your personal convictions on religious issues, we wish you and all of yours a very merry holiday season, and hopes for a wonderful new year! Enjoy! - VHSr. Caveat Anima.]
OAS National Headquarters...
Dec. 25th, 01:17 Eastern Time
Georgetown, KY; United States of America
Fox Mulder: "We're too late! It's already been here."
Dana Scully: "Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing."
Fox Mulder: "Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care."
Dana Scully: "You really think someone's been here?"
Fox Mulder: "Someone, or something."
Dana Scully: "Mulder, over here - it's a fruitcake."
Fox Mulder: "Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal!"
Dana Scully: "It's O.K. There's a note attached: 'Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.'"
Fox Mulder: "It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list, and I know it'll check it twice."
Dana Scully: "Who? What are you talking about?"
Fox Mulder: "Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once a year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite."
Dana Scully: "But that's legend, Mulder - a story told by parents to frighten children. Surely you don't believe it?"
Fox Mulder: "Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was massive - and in a hurry."
Dana Scully: "It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained."
Fox Mulder: "It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse."
Dana Scully: "But why would they leave it milk and cookies?"
Fox Mulder: "Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding."
Dana Scully: "But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and windows were locked. There's no sign of forced entry."
Fox Mulder: "Unless I miss my guess, it came in through the fireplace."
Dana Scully: "Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down this chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get down there."
Fox Mulder: "But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at once?"
Dana Scully: "You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?"
Fox Mulder: "Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white shanks of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father."
Dana Scully: "Impossible."
Fox Mulder: "I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!"
Dana Scully: "I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys.
Dana Scully: "Listen to what you're saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they'll close the X-files."
Fox Mulder: "Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping. It knows when you're awake."
Dana Scully: "But we have no proof."
Fox Mulder: "Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered the military to defcon three."
Dana Scully: "But that was proven to be a meteor shower."
Fox Mulder: "Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C. Nobody - not even the zookeeper - was told about it. The government doesn't want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist, the public will stop spending a significant portion of its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets would collapse. Scully, half of all retail sales ocure from November 1st through December 25th. They cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There's too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night."
Dana Scully: "Mulder, I -"
Fox Mulder: "Shhhhh! Listen! Do you hear what I hear?!"
Dana Scully: "On the roof. It sounds like... a clatter."
Fox Mulder: "The truth is up there Scully! Let's get up there, and see what's the matter!"
A LITURGICAL CALENDAR FOR CHRISTIAN MAGICIANS
With Noted Festivals and Special Events
October 1998 - March 1999
Date Event/Note OCTOBER Note: In the Liturgical Season of Pentecost. High Altar cloths in Green. 10/04/98 17th Sun. after Trinity; St. Francis of Assisi. 10/05/98 Moon = Full. 10/11/98 18th Sun. after Trinity. 10/12/98 COLUMBUS DAY; Moon = Last 1/4. 10/15/98 St. Theresa of Avila. 10/18/98 19th Sun. after Trinity; St. Luke, Evangelist. 10/20/97 Moon = New. 10/23/97 Sun enters Scorpio. 10/25/98 20th Sun. after Trinity; Daylight Savings Time Ends. 10/28/97 Moon = 1st 1/4. 10/31/98 All Hallow's Eve (Halloween); Samhain. NOVEMBER 11/01/98 21st Sun. After Trinity; All Saint's Day; OAS Founder's Day, 1980. 11/02/98 All Souls Day. 11/03/98 (US) Election Day. 11/04/98 Moon = Full. 11/08/98 22nd Sun. After Trinity. 11/11/98 VETERAN'S DAY; 11/15/98 23rd Sun. After Trinity. 11/19/98 Moon = New. 11/22/98 24th Sun. After Trinity; Sun enters Sagitarius. 11/26/98 THANKSGIVING. 11/27/98 Moon = Last 1/4. 11/29/98 1st Sun. in ADVENT. DECEMBER 12/03/98 Moon = Full. 12/05/98 OAS Crux Mystica - 1999 Calendar Published. 12/06/98 2nd Sun. in Advent. 12/12/98 Our Lady of Guadalupe. 12/13/98 3rd Sun. in Advent; St. John of the Cross, Abbot & Mystic. 12/20/98 4th Sun. in Advent; Sun enters Capricorn; Winter Solstice. 12/24/98 Christmas Even. 12/25/98 CHRISTMAS DAY 12/26/98 St. Stephen, Martyr; (CAN) Boxing Day 12/27/98 1st Sun. of Christmas Tide. 12/28/98 St. John, Apostle & Evangelist. 12/28/98 The Feast of the Holy Innocent's Day. 12/31/98 NEW YEAR'S EVEN. JANUARY 01/01/99 NEW YEAR'S DAY; The Circumcision of Christ. 01/02/99 Moon = Full. 01/03/99 2nd Sun. After Christmas Tide. 01/06/99 EPIPHANY. 01/09/99 Moon = Last 1/4. 01/10/99 1st Sun. After Epiphany. 01/17/99 2nd Sun. After Epiphany; Moon = New. 01/18/99 MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., DAY. 01/21/99 Sun in Aquarius. 01/24/99 3rd Sun. After Epiphany; Moon = 1st 1/4.. 01/25/99 Conversion of St. Paul, Apostle. 01/26/99 St. Titus & St. Timothy, Bishops. 01/31/99 Septugesima Sunday; St. John Bosco, Priest & Mystic; Moon = Full. FEBRUARY 02/01/99 Presentation of Christ in the Temple; Candlemas. 02/02/99 Tu BıShuvat. 02/07/99 Sexagesima Sunday. 02/08/99 Moon = Last 1/4. 02/11/99 Our Lady of Lourdes. 02/14/99 Quinquagesima Sunday; Valentineıs Day. 02/15/99 PRESIDENTıS DAY. 02/16/99 Shrove Tue. (Feast of Mardi Gras); Moon = New. 02/17/99 LENT: Ash Wednesday. 02/18/99 Sun Enters Pisces. 02/21/99 1st Sun. in Lent. 02/23/99 Moon = 1st 1/4. 02/28/99 2nd Sun. in Lent. MARCH 03/02/99 Feast of Purim; Moon = Full. 03/07/99 3rd Sun. in Lent. 03/14/99 4th Sun. in Lent. 03/15/99 OAS Vernal Equinox, March 1999 Issue of the Crux Mystica Published. 03/17/99 St. Patrick; Moon = New. 03/19/99 St. Joseph, Husband of St. Mary. 03/20/99 Sun Enters Aries; OAS Executive Council Annual Meeting, S.T. Polaris (Georgetown, KY). 03/21/99 5th Sun. in Lent; Vernal Equinox. 03/24/99 Moon = 1st 1/4. 03/25/99 The Annunciation of St Mary, Mother of Jesus Christ. 03/28/99 Palm Sunday. 03/31/99 Moon = Full.
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